EXCLUSIVE! THE PHIL McCAVITY INTERVIEW YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!
After the diastrous Skinner & Baddiel interview… we thought “let’s talk to a proper porner”… and so we did…
C&P: “Ummm… Phil… what does it really smell like in the back of that fuck truck??”
Phil McCavity: “Depends if Uncle Ernie has cleaned up last nights mess, normally it smells of roses…”
C&P: “Is English porn like the new rock and roll or is it fucking rubbish really?”
Phil McCavity: “Bit of both really… some stuff is amatuer but well shot while other is bigger budget - and crap… we tend to be somewhere in-between. We dont spend American style money but for the UK we do spend a few quid. Main thing with us is we pay people… and that always keeps them happy…”
C&P: “Tell the lads what they need to do to put up cock for a McCavity production…”
Phil McCavity: “Write to my e-mail… but they got to be dirty buggers to fit in with the current crew!”
C&P: “And how much they’ll get paid for doing it…”
Phil McCavity: “…Paid ????”
C&P: “And can lady spank patty on viddy-cam for her shoes-money??… How?”
Phil McCavity: “Write to my e-mail… send a picture… unless they’re very ugly, then I suggest they send a picture of someone else… when they turn up - we wont care…”
C&P: “And… how much they’ll get paid for doing it?”
Phil McCavity: “Depends on the girl… usual £300 for the day…”
C&P: “Where’s it all leading though? Shit-eating kids?”
Phil McCavity: “Who knows… some of the guys requests frighten me! They seem to be getting extreme too quickly. I think the fact that we have now been told wanking is legal has helped a bit with it all. I stick to producing straight-forward fuck films… but I have just brought a Chix with Dix series…”
C&P: “They say “TEENS” they mean “EARLY TWENTIES”… Is it fair?”
Phil McCavity: “Eh… guilty as charged… sorry…”
C&P: “The wife says YES but the law still says NO… is anal simply de rigeur these days?”
Phil McCavity: “I thought the law sayed yes? There is a rumour next year it will be compulsory…”
C&P: “The name Phil… Mu… Cavity… It readily suggests that you want your own cavity actually filled… do you see a future for hardcore-BI in the mainstream market?”
Phil McCavity: “Want a slap ???”
C&P: “Yes!”
Phil McCavity: “I did read Dick Nasty put a vibro up his arse in a movie… does that count?”
C&P: “I say “I’m a wanker” but they say “Your a cunt”… how do you think the feminists get away with it?”
Phil McCavity: “Fem is out… if you can’t name a few pornstars in the pub at the weekend you is a cave man! Women are getting in with the flow, more women friendly shops are opening up… in fact a women only style shop opened up a couple of months ago…”
C&P: “Who’s the Fuck Truck all-time Girl’s champion thus far?”
Phil McCavity: “Has to be Lianne Young… anal… DP… and wanted to get shagged all the way from London to Bristol!”
C&P: “and the Fuck Truck all-time Boy’s champion?”
Phil McCavity: “Uncle Ernie… because he has wanked more than anyone else…”
So there it is! The king of UK conk has spoken! And so BANG! on cue… we present… straight off the McCavity rack…
VIDEO
VIOLET STORM #2 [Phil McCavity/Devlin Media]
75 Minutes Starring Violet Storm, Bailey and Zeta
Phyco:
Ooo…
Now this is interesting…
Violet Storm is the Devlin Media Group’s “Contract girl” in the fashion of the US big shots but of course with an entirely British bent resulting in the distinctly gritty grimness one has come to expect from the UK’s noblest of original chug-vendors… 2 “features” here… “Violet gets double ended” and “Violets Pussy Technician”… both straightforward narrative outlines that thankfully switch to real-core “gonzish” mode once the action gets going… I will say that she’s punched full of stainless steel our Violet - so if you’re keen on pierced tits/lips/clits… bits with bolts on… you’re in for a winner…
So the muzak grinds to a halt and the hardcore kicks in… Episode 1… Splendidly understated woodwork from the bronzed one on cock… refreshing sincerity from the Storm… but a tad too much hydraulics maybe? with a tendency to over-focus on the straight in-out routines… which won’t quite satiate the real libertine like it should… but then again Episode 1 features a highly rewarding flat-back spuffer with good vox… a sound visual composition… and a temple-pounding slow motion gobfull that justifies the ten-to-fifteen pound cover charge alone… an ultra-high quality oral breakdown - unmissable spooge!
“Filmed in Anal-Vision” promises the box cover - but there’s no back doorage here I’m afraid… episode 2 go’s girl-girl in an unremarkable blah blah blah… oh it’s Casper’s bag… he gets off on the GG’s…
Casper:
Did you see the fanny on the other bird?! More curtain than The Albert Hall!
I like you Storm, but I’m going to have to pan you - just a little bit…
It’s gonzo… it’s good… and it’s very rude…. Ms Storm - you are brilliant - and your sheer confidence did highlight that other girl’s inexperience which - despite her unkempt bush - really did it for me… and I think you are the first person who has - indirectly - done it for me…
However… too many piercings and not enough TALKING! You are English… SPEAK! and be proud!
I look foward to perusing your work in the future…
p.s. “Any ole anal… Any ole anal… Any, any, any ole anal?”
Introducing
Casper & Phyco’s
“WHAT IF I LIKE IT?!”
Transexual Challenge
We’ve asked Phil McCavity @ Devlin to send us one of his new “bedicked-chick flicks”
And it’ll be the first such scuff we’ve ever seen…
So until that tape falls through the letterbox - an arresting anxiety reigns supreme…
Ladies & Gentlemen… we give you…
Casper & Phyco’s “WHAT IF I LIKE IT?!” challenge.
C&P UK Treading the fine line since 1988
Casper: “What if I… do like it Phyco?”
Phyco: “We won’t… we’re faarr tooo red blooded man…”
Casper: “But what if we do like it?!”
Phyco: “Look… we fucking won’t alright? I’m adamant… Finished.”
Casper: “But… what if…”
Phyco: “Look! I’m fucking positive okay? We will… not… like it…”
Casper [thinking]: “…Phyco?”
Phyco: “Yeeeessss?”
Casper: “How does… the “chick”… get… a “dick”…?”
Phyco: “Well… it’s not really the chick that’s getting the dick… as such…. is it?”
Casper: “Uh?!”
Phyco: “…it’s more the… “chaps”… getting… the “baps”…. eh?”
Casper: “so… they’re… fucking… blokes under all that???”
Phyco: “About as “bloke” as an 8ft Australian welder in a strip-pub full of Russian wrestlers my son…”
Casper: “…[gulp]… Phyco?”
Phyco: “Yeeeeeesssssss?”
Casper [anxious]: “What if we like it??!!” etc. etc. ad nauseam