Phil McCavity’s Fuck Truck 3 - Episodes 5&6 [Devlin Media Group]
70 Minutes Starring Christina & Jayne and the lads…
Phyco:
Now for me… this changes everything…
Episode 5: an absolutely incontestibly fucking brilliant… errr… the most - get this - the most brain shatteringly maaaarvelous event of recent months in “Christinas” [aka “Amy”, “Melody” etc… I think she’s got a catalogue of “Piddling vids” to her credit… any details? Let us know] show stealing, career defining moment of perfection… dirty pure excellence! What a stunner! What a fucking stunner! [“Oi Streak… “What A Stunnah!”] Now this is what it’s all about… Raw untempered young British girls - “Our” girls, putting all the “actors”, and all the “posers” and “ponces” and fucking fakes to shame with their beautiful strain of UK Rude…
That infamous keyword: R-U-D-E Ruuuuude… and it’s here - it’s happened.
This is as good as it gets in my book - pictures of Paddington Station, a bit of chat: “I love sucking dick - thas what I do best!”, the very pronounciation of that “Dick” word confirms the sovereign status of this UK beauty, and oh my life she does as she claims! The little squeaks and the soft bumping of her breathy vocals… none of that fucking stupid screaming thats been driving me batty the last 15 years… and that concluding 4 ball shake off onto those generous fun bags! Pure class… it’s all in her eyes…
…so it’s full blown gutteral engagement resulting from a button pushing criteria fulfilling technically accurate female “type” in the driving seat - “Christina” deserves a sainthood for this 20 odd-minute dream - a soul searing delivery that will satiate the most libertine admirer of rude peachy rascals - right down to the bruises, she’s probably the finest specimen of sexual exhibitionist “model” currently in operation… christ - I want to do a scene with her: i’ll gladly “jump the fence”! Buy the tape just for this one performance - a tenner well spent - awesome porn.
So to the lads… well it’s… oh I can’t remember his name - Michael? But it’s an early appearance on camera it would appear, for he wont stop squinting at the crew and making nervous comments to diffuse the situation, maintaining a “professional air of distance” - talking “tech and money” to keep his mind on the job… of course our starlet rides over this admirably but I’m moved to comment on the general position of wood in porn… Ahem:
“Lads… shut it. Leave the chat and the glam to Rocco. Leave the direction to Staglianno. Just fuck, get on with it, behave and provide cock… it’s not hard, sort it out.”
Okay… so fly the flag and geddin-there! Ten quid - downstairs at the SoHo Bookshop London… to all those involved - Thankyou - for my hour is near - I’m coming home… Reach for the grease, this scene’ll have you batting for 4’s - consistently yielding quality satisfaction - every time.
Casper:
Well it’s nice to see we’re all finally “singing off the same hymn sheet”!
…but are we really there yet?
I believe in U.K. porn… it is where it’s at, and MacCavity and Devlin are certainly doing the business - to a certain extent. This is gritty, this is real, this is not gaenocalogical [sic] and yes this is SEX. BUT… there are a few issues here - never try and fool Casper with poor editing ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO SOUND. I heard MacCavity in “FUCK TRUCK” asking for more of the right sounds from that first bird. From this we can deduce that the director is fully aware of aural importance within the pornographic film. But for God’s sake… don’t overdub some bodge job from a completely different scene - or maybe a completely different film. It was like watching “the German channel” in ‘89! “close, but tut-tut-tut”
Casper:
Whas going on with his notcha?!
Phyco:
Eh? Oh… Jee-sus!
Casper:
His notcha’s as plump as his fuckin’ nuts!!
Phil McCavity’s Wife Watcher - Episodes 1&2 [Devlin Media Group]
70 Minutes Starring Erica & Sienna and the lads…
Phyco:
More of the same vibe… homegrown hardcore filmed in “anal vision” apparently - but nothing too bionasty - we’re off that at the moment, but I must say that I suspect a certain ammount of “UK underground aspiring to US overground” in the general “studio” cut of this cloth. Not that this should distract too much at this stage, but I was kinda hoping for an opportunity to award the first of the “Casper and Phyco’s Certificate of Qualification” to a McCavity product, but it’s a “hold on - not yet” as we see a degree of clumsy time-stretching editing, a bit of contrived narrative nonsense etc… and we can’t have that… i’m sure the Devlin gang will come up trumps at some point and recieve the coveted, much admired, state of the art industry benchmark accreditation, lets wait and see - these fine people are waving the Jack for UK fuck with all the classic styling of the royal topshelf… again it’s an easy tenners worth which’ll provide 2 scenes of standard filth suitable for an early morning special or a well chosen christmas present for one of those poor wretched souls who’s been watching the same crackly slice of 80’s shit for the last 15 years… go on - buy British and spoil someone…
As a footnote: Both of these vid’s kick off with an advertisement montage of particularly flushed scenes from the Fuck Truck series set to Carry-on-esque canned laughter, cheeky Honk-Honk-Bing sound effects and tin pot Ealing comedy music… very very funny - worth grabbing a tape if only for this winning feature… I’m glowing with national pride I really am…
Casper:
I also picked up on repetitive loop editing in the “Wives” video - this, Philip, is not acceptable.
Having said that, we are getting closer to the Golden Bogroll at the end of the rainbow with this valiant effort from the MacCavity range.
Keep up the good work Micky!